Let’s talk about one of the less positive aspects of our business: jealousy.
Why do I want to talk about it now? Well, it has to do with a private message I received from a colleague. He wanted to let me know that he thinks that one of the more well known coaches in the business is preying on naive newbies, telling them they will make it big even though their talent is small.
Why would this person do that? Because there’s much money to be made from people who are clueless and who believe what they want to believe, especially if someone they trust tells them they can be a star.
INFORMANTS
Now, when you’ve been writing stories about the VO industry for as long as I have (over 20 years!), people know where to find me. From time to time they’ll send me tips and suggestions for stories, or things to look into. It’s almost like a secret network of sources, informants if you will.
Most of these suggestions end up in the bin because the stories don’t check out. They’re based on unfounded rumors and silly gossip. Some folks have a bone to pick, they’re afraid to do the picking, and hope I will do it for them. Those are the folks who want me to do their dirty work and risk my reputation.
Some of my “informants” have spent a lot of money on coaching without much to show for, and now they want to “expose their coach as a money-grabbing charlatan.”
If you’re not getting the results you had hoped for, it’s always easy to blame someone else, isn’t it?
But there’s another reason why people want me to write a negative blog about someone they have singled out or are obsessed with.
ENVY
It’s easy to feel envious in this industry where people constantly post about all their wins, all the amazing projects they just landed, and all the praise they have received from clients and colleagues. It’s very much a “Look at ME” industry.
In some, this will bring out the “I want what you’re having” feeling. Or: “Why them and not me. I work just as hard, if not harder.”
That’s because this business is very unpredictable, subjective, and unfair. There are no guarantees.
Just because you recently invested in an expensive Neumann U87 microphone, doesn’t mean you’ll be booking like crazy. Some peeps spend thousands of dollars on demos and all they hear is crickets… while someone else with a home-made demo and a cheap mic lands the job of a lifetime.
SELF ESTEEM
Jealousy is often linked to feelings of insecurity, fear, anger, and low self-esteem. It tells us more about how we feel about ourselves than how we feel about others.
If you’re envious, don’t badmouth the person to me, hoping I will blog about it. Instead of being resentful, become curious and resourceful. Ask yourself: How did this person I’m so envious of become so successful? What can I learn from them? ‘Cause, if they can do it, I can probably figure it out too!
Or how about this: turn your jealousy into admiration and humility. Admiration is a lost art, these days. Why not celebrate someone’s success and be happy a colleague gets a much deserved break? Your time will come!
Someone else’s achievements do not diminish or threaten your career.
Practice being humble (which is different from having a low opinion of yourself). Humble people don’t think they’re better than anyone else. They can be self -assured, but they’re not arrogant.
BLESSINGS
Jealous people are often self-absorbed and not so grateful for what they have. I know it is a cliché, but please count your blessings. The more time you take to reflect on what you have accomplished, the less time you have to worry about other people’s success.
Plus, it helps to realize that success can be a facade. Success often equals increased stress. I’m sure you have heard of chefs who hated getting a Michelin star because now they have so much more to prove.
We all know stories of celebrities who were admired by the world, but who were sad, lonely, drug-addicted human beings.
In fact, these celebs might be jealous of the “ordinary” life you lead, outside of the spotlight and the pressures of always having to be perfect.
There are brown spots in the grass no matter what side of the fence you’re on. Some people are good at concealing it. Others focus on regrowth. Be grateful.
Isn’t the grass always greener on the other side of the rainbow?
Another thought provoking article. I have gotten away from browsing Linkedln…all those peeps Look at Me …just brings me down… like I am doing something wrong and maybe VO isn’t working for me. But then I read articles like yours and I remind myself, I am not alone… Keep my expections humble and love what I do.
Thanks
It’s okay for people to be proud of their accomplishments and share them with the world, as long as not ALL of their posts are not of the LOOK AT ME kind. That gets old really fast.
Another excellent observation, Paul. I always have felt that when people in my field are working, it means that I have somewhere to go to work, too. My job is to find my place near their place, but not by taking their place. (Although it has happened. In my career I replaced one of the biggest talents and also a mentor, but both times I only found out afterwards. Yes, it was a bit of an ego pop, but then it was back to reality.)
Maybe relevant here, maybe not: I try to have an open mind and not have too many expectations of myself. Over the years I have learned that if I had lived up to my early expectations, I would probably have half the life I’ve had.
Have a great holiday weekend.
It’s hard enough to live up to other people’s expectations, let alone to the things we expect of ourselves. But that’s to be expected 😉
Greetings Paul from the Heartland of Iowa. Well, you’ve done it again you put together an awesome article so timely that I am sharing it on my social media platforms. Have a great upcoming Memorial Day weekend!
I should hire you as my social media manager. Thanks for sharing, Dave, and enjoy this weekend!
Hey Paul that would be an awesome collaboration and I am all about that!