If you remember my story about jealousy from last week, you may recall that it started with a message from a colleague who was badmouthing a voice over VIP. Simply put, this colleague thought this very well known presenter and demo producer was taking advantage of newbies.
By badmouthing this person, the colleague was hoping I would do his dirty work and expose this demo producer in my blog. Now, this is just one example of people saying negative things about others who work in the same industry. It’s part of an overall trend that’s assisted and magnified by social media, as it allows people to comment without filters, consequences, or accountability.
It allows us to spread lies and misinformation, and it turns people against each other. Now, you know me. I’m not afraid to speak my mind and call people out, but I do this to shake things up and bring about positive change. I don’t offend people for the sake of being offensive.
NEGATIVE BIAS
But it’s not just social media where people are negative and nasty. As a former journalist and news anchor, I’m well aware that most media have a negative bias. Controversy and contentious arguments always draw more attention. They sell more papers, and fear mongering gets people to watch the nightly news and all the yelling television pundits.
Angertainment boosts ratings, which is good for the ad revenue. I may be cynical, but at the end of the day, it’s all about making more and more money while people get crushed.
It’s also happening in my community, which largely exists of people who talk for a living: voice over artists. I’ve been blogging for over twenty years, and the top ten of stories that were read and shared the most, are all blog posts about contentious topics. It makes sense: when everything is hunky dory, no one cares.
A NEW IDEA
Now, to counter what I see as a wave of people trying to tear other down by badmouthing them, I propose doing the opposite. Words can be just as powerful when used to lift people up. So, I’d like to start a wave of goodmouthing.
I propose making every Monday “Goodmouth Monday.” You can turn it into hashtag if you like (#goodmouthmonday). What do you do on Goodmouth Monday? You pick one person in your life (can be a colleague but can be anyone), and you publicly say something nice about them. And when you do that, please be SPECIFIC so all of us know what makes this person so special. Saying that someone is simply great is okay, but it isn’t telling us much.
Now, this is important. Don’t pay a compliment because it makes YOU look good. That’s giving to get something in return. Pay a compliment to shine a light on a person because he or she deserves it, and doesn’t get enough praise.
LIZ DE NESNERA
This Monday, my person was Liz de Nesnera. She’s a bilingual French/English voice talent at Reservoir Road Productions, her company. A few years ago, Liz fell head over heels for fellow voice actor Steve Cunningham. Soon after they started their life together, Steve had two severe strokes which left him unable to work, and unable to take care of himself.
Liz became his support system. The marriage they had been planning never happened, and life together is not at all the way Liz and Steve had imagined. As someone who has had a stroke and who needed much care, I know how hard it can be on a caregiver. But Liz is the embodiment of “in sickness and in health” and she now sends out merit badges to acknowledge other caregivers.
Liz, this one’s is for you!
So, who would you like to goodmouth next Monday?
You “stole my thunder,” Paul. My friend of many years Liz was my first instant thought. She is always thinking “outside of herself,” and her kindness and warmth are appropriately legendary. Extra points for her years of service holding virtually every office (President for four years!) of ITVA-NJ > MCA-I NJ > CineTech Meda Professionals, as well as her service to other organizations. You and I know there are many good people in the world if one only cares to look, and Liz sits on top of that list. I wish her and Steve a happy summer – and you and Pam as well!
Best always,
Paul
Liz lights up every organization and group she is a part of. Happy summer!
Wonderful story, Paul. And let’s hear it for good news. It might not sell like vitriol, gore, violence, and heartbreak, BUT it’s good for the heart.
Thanks.
Oh my goodness, YES!
I love this Paul, what a concept..”Good mouth Mondays” count me in I am all about genuinely picking people up, not talking about hitchhikers here, although I have done my share. It’s like the quote often recited by Maya Angelou, and appears in my e-signature, ” Most people will forget what you tell but won’t forget how you made them feel”. Thanks, Paul you are one of my greatest voiceover heroes, and will always be inspired by your near-death experience and your will keep pushing to take your part in making the world and our voiceover journeys a much better place in which to thrive.
In my book, my wife is the real hero because her gut feeling and our emotional connection was what saved my life. I have been given a second chance, and I’m not going to waste it!
“Angertainment boosts ratings, which is good for the ad revenue. I may be cynical, but at the end of the day, it’s all about making more and more money.”
And this is why I avoid consuming any news that is not about something that affects me directly. The war in Ukraine; China’s hawkish foreign policies; runaway housing prices. What can I do about any of that? Absolutely nothing, so why consume it and get myself upset over it?
I agree it’s best not to get upset over the thing we cannot control. But sometimes conflicts from far away get close to home. Last year, a group of Ukrainian refugees moved to our area. The whole community came together to renovate a home where they could live. Local contractors donated their time and materials for free, and together we gave this group a safe place to stay.
I’m so sorry to hear about Steve’s 2 strokes. And I really commend and give big props to Liz for stepping up to the plate to look after him. A lesser woman would have bailed and abandoned him.
I’m sorry to hear about your own stroke too
My wife of 32 years had a minor stroke a year ago, two days after her 60th birthday. (How ironic) “Thankfully”, it was a minor stroke that only affected her right leg. In fact, we weren’t aware it was even a stroke until I took her to the hospital and they did the brain imaging and told us that it was a stroke that caused it. She did physiotherapy and occupational therapy. Thankfully, she was able to go back to work as an educational assistant for special needs children.
Unfortunately, it has affected her personality. She can say some really hurtful and inappropriate stuff now, which I understand is what happens to a lot of people who get strokes. But like you said: “for better or worse, in sickness and in health.”
The after-effects of a stroke are different, depending on what areas of the brain are affected. I too can blurt out hurtful things in conversation, because I seem to have lost some of my social filters. It’s such a great help to have an understanding and patient partner. Here’s to all the amazing caregivers, such as yourself!