As a child, I dreamed of being invisible. Did you?
It seemed so much fun to be able to sneak into any room and listen to what people had to say about me, especially my parents.
At age 17, my wish came true, and I didn’t even need an invisibility cloak to make it happen.
The day I started working for a national radio station, I became a disembodied voice. At the flip of a switch, I could enter thousands of living rooms, kitchens, cars… and even people’s minds.
What I loved about radio was the relative anonymity. I had exposure without being exposed. On many days, my listeners were lucky they couldn’t see me behind a Neumann at the crack of dawn, looking like a zombie presenting a current affairs program.
There was no need to go to make-up and nobody ever said a word about my wardrobe or hair. All was well, as long as my vocal cords were working and my brain was semi-active.
The studio was a safe place. The outside world didn’t dare penetrate the soundproof walls and heavy double doors. I could question dignitaries and grill cabinet ministers without having to look them in the eye, unless they came to our station, which rarely happened.
As a journalist, I never risked my life on the front lines to get a story. I covered earthquakes, explosions, famines and other misery from the comfort of a warm recording studio, where the coffee was always fresh and dangerously leaded.
When my day was over, I would simply blend into the masses without ever being recognized or followed by a horde of hungry paparazzi.
So far, so good… or so I thought.
A PRE MID-LIFE CRISIS
One day, something happened that had never occurred before. The moment I woke up I knew something was wrong. I could feel it in my bones. I wanted to stay in bed. For a very long time.
Mind you, I wasn’t sick. I just didn’t want to go to work. This was not like me at all. I was always full of energy and enthusiasm. I loved my job. When we were on the air, I was on fire. That particular morning, all that was left of my passion for radio had turned into a fading column of sad smoke. What the heck was going on?
A few days and some soul-searching later, it finally dawned upon me:
I was stuck in a rut.
Radio had gradually lost its magic. It had become a routine. I felt that I wasn’t building a career. I was simply coasting and I was bored. What I needed was a new challenge, a new direction, and I already knew what my next move would be.
I wanted to move up to television; to the excitement of the bright lights, the cool cameras, the expensive sets and to a world in which I would be recognized.
No longer Mister Anonymous. I wanted to be seen!
MAKING MY MOVE
Of course this was easier said than done. I needed to get my foot in the TV door. My plan was to make a move at the Christmas party. It was one of those rare occasions where the radio and television departments of our station would be together in the same room. I knew some of the key TV people, and I could already see them walking up to me as I was getting a drink, saying:
“Hey, aren’t you the guy that does our morning show? Man, I’ve got to tell you… you’re doing a fantastic job -the way you nailed that last interview. Did you ever think of getting into television? You’d be perfect!”
A few weeks later I was wearing my nicest holiday sweater as I walked into a buzzing party room filled with holly and ivy. Immediately, I noticed something peculiar.
All my radio colleagues were gathered in one corner, talking quietly among themselves. It looked like they had almost as much fun as the occupants of a reading room in a convent. All the action seemed to be happening in the other corner, where faces familiar from television were the life of the party.
One network. Two different worlds.
The moment I entered that room, there was no doubt to which camp I belonged. Nobody was paying any attention to me. Why would they? I was invisible, remember.
CHOOSING SIDES
You should have seen the crowd’s reaction when one of the TV game show hosts made his grand entrance. He just finished taping his holiday show, looking all glamoured up in his Armani suit. The man had impossibly white teeth and a million dollar hairpiece. Wherever he went, he was followed by a hopelessly devoted circle of fans, ready to lick the floor beneath his size fourteen feet.
Whereas my radio friends looked painfully uncomfortable and very much out of place, most of my TV colleagues seemed to relish the limelight and take it all in. The more attention they got, the better.
Later on in my career I noticed the same phenomenon in a different setting. Whenever I went to a studio to audition for a voice-over part, there were always two types of people in the waiting room. The outgoing, chatty, we’re-here-to-have-a-good-time crowd, and the quiet, reserved, I’m-in-my-own-bubble-please-don’t-disturb-me people.
Both groups seemed to be attracted to the same line of work, so what was going on?
Here’s what I found out.
A TALE OF TWO TALENTS
The lively, talkative bunch almost always had a background in the performing arts, theater, film, dance, music and television. They were trained to entertain and were focused on the outside world. They were the people-people. The more the merrier!
The subdued, quiet folks loved to read and write and research… by themselves. They were focused on their inner world, and it usually took time and effort to get them out of their shells. It wasn’t easy for them to approach people they didn’t know. They would prefer it if someone else would make the first move. If you wouldn’t know any better, you might think they were terribly shy and withdrawn.
Now, let’s get one thing straight. There’s nothing inherently good or bad in being more extroverted or introverted. In certain contexts, one type of behavior is just a bit more useful than the other.
CONTRAST AND COMPARE
The outgoing extroverts are often better at schmoozing and networking. They look for and respond to cues from others, which is important if you need to take directions. What other people think of them, influences what they think of themselves. It can boost their self-esteem or -in extreme cases- crush it.
The introverts hate to have to work the room and engage in what they see as superficial small talk. They need personal space. They have an internal frame of reference. You don’t have to tell them they did a good job. They already know. They’re not seeking attention or the approval of others. And when it’s time to recharge their batteries, they prefer to be alone or with a small group of people they feel comfortable with.
In this day and age of home studios, there’s no need to be super social anymore. It’s an introvert’s dream and an extrovert’s nightmare. Extroverts need events like voice-over mixers, conferences and other gatherings. Introverts will come too, but you have to drag them to these things. They prefer dial-in seminars and Facebook exchanges. At an event, the extroverts enjoy a wild evening of karaoke, while the introverts will hit the sack early to “rest their voices.”
Yes, I know I’m generalizing, but it’s my blog so I can be as black and white as I want to make a point.
WHO AM I?
To which category do I belong, you may wonder? If you’ve met me in person, what do you think?
Well, to be totally honest with you, I am a reluctant extrovert.
I very much enjoy the peace and quiet of my own studio. I love having the ability to talk to you by putting my virtual pen to my virtual paper. Paper is patient.
You see, when I was watching that hyper animated TV crowd at the Christmas party of my radio station, many years ago, I suddenly couldn’t see myself becoming one of them.
These people enjoyed talking (especially about themselves), but they had a hard time listening. They openly critiqued other people’s appearance and behavior, without showing any interest in the actual person. They were loud but not necessarily deep. In short, I never made my move to Televisionland and transitioned out of radio into a more therapeutic career.
Years later, I came back to my radio roots to become a professional voice-over. I emigrated to a new country (the U.S.) where nobody knew me. I quickly found out that it isn’t very helpful to stay under the radar, especially in America, where people like to be loud and gregarious (although they don’t see it that way because most of them have never been across the border).
PROACTIVE PAYS OFF
Being a voice talent is not a wait-and-see career for the ever so shy and always so modest. This type of work is for enterprising go-getters who can quickly make connections.
People have to know that you exist. They expect you to take the initiative. If you don’t knock on their door, it will never open. I really had to get used to that concept, and that’s why my rise to “meteoric fame” is a tale of hard knocks. (I hope you caught the sarcasm)
If you were to get to know me a little bit better, though, you would find that the introvert side of me might have gone undercover, but it’s still there. I don’t mind being by myself. I also find it beneficial in this business to have an internal frame of reference with an external check. What does that mean?
It means you have to believe in yourself AND stay open to feedback from others. You have to be able to direct yourself in your home studio, and you have to be flexible enough to let someone else direct your session as well.
Working in the media, it is good to make the rounds and mingle with the crowds. Yet, as voice-overs, we also have to be fine with spending many hours a day in solitary confinement, speaking into a microphone. We have to learn when it’s time to talk and when it’s time to shut up, listen and focus.
It took me a while to get that.
Today I can finally say that I’m thoroughly enjoying the best of two worlds. I like the company of colleagues. Being social is not so bad.
At the same time, I can go back to my home studio, shut the door and no one will even notice what I’m doing. It’s a minor miracle.
I have become visibly invisible!
Paul Strikwerda ©nethervoice
PS Last week, UK-colleague Helen Lloyd interviewed me about voice-over marketing. You can read the story by clicking on this link.
Happy holidays to you too Paul!!! I would fit the Extrovert/Extrovert category. I’ve never been an introvert until lately… I like being alone in the booth, doing my own thing. Now I have the ability to edit right from there, I’ll go in and stay for a while. It’s sooo quiet and peaceful… I really enjoy being in there, which makes me comfortable with what I’m doing in there which is critical to it coming out right. Thanks for sharing your time, wisdom and point of view.
Hi Ted, in this crazy busy world that never stops, it’s wonderful to have a place to withdraw to and be in the moment. No distractions. No flashing lights, billboards or commercials. Having a both is one of the blessings of the business. Until I can’t stand it anymore and I need a big hug!
Excellent as usual Paul. I think that your category extends into Prolific Blogger/Quiet Extrovert – never so Extroverted as to scare anyone or turn anyone off; always having great advice for both personalities. You certainly are a good listener which makes people know that you are interested in them. You are wise without shouting from the rooftops, which makes them listen to you. Happy Holidays Paul, and to the rest of our VO Community – Uncle Roy
Thank you so much, Uncle Roy. I think people are the most interesting creatures on this planet. One of the things I’m working on almost every day, is to make sure that I don’t only hear but also listen. Secondly, I still have to bite my tongue (not very good for a voice-over) to prevent me from interrupting someone because I want to share something. Over the years, I believe I’ve become a lot more spontaneous, but with spontaneity comes the urge to react immediately. That’s one of the reasons I often prefer written communication. It gives me time to think things over and take in the words I’m about to respond to.
This one made me chuckle, Paul. I’m SO like you – a reluctant extrovert. Perfect name for it. I’ll be sociable and have fun with the rest of ’em in a party or conference situation, but I recharge by being alone. The many days I spend in my home studio by myself with occasional visits from my husband 🙂 are days I very much enjoy. It is sometimes a bit of difficult for me to come out of my shell even in party/conference situations. I’ve been an introvert FAR longer than I’ve been extrovert. But as a singer, I’ve had to concentrate on an audience, just as you say. So … it’s colored things somewhat. Glad to know I’m not as much of an oddity as I thought I was. 😉 Thanks for the very insightful article and I hope you and your family have a wonderful Holiday Season, Paul! (And Happy Holidays to everyone else, too!)
Jodi, we should start a club for reluctant extraverts and not tell anyone about it…
Another post I totally relate to, Paul! Although I’d have to say, in my experience, the radio folks are more genuinely ‘fun’ people to be around. Not to delve into wide generalities, but while the TV people appear outgoing and gregarious, we radioheads had the more crazy, we’re-up-for-anything kind of mentality. Probably because we didn’t take ourselves as seriously as the TV crew. That’s why I tell people I’m an extroverted introvert – I like to be quiet & stay to myself, but there’s a part of me that loves the gregariousness that comes with radio!
I can relate to that too, Matt. Because we know the listeners can’t see us, it’s so much fun to make silly faces during a live broadcast, just to throw the co-presenter off. Then someone introduced the ridiculous idea of putting a TV camera in the radio studio…
Great piece Paul, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Most VOs are really hung up on their great pipes or their amazing characters but if they look at the rest of the world other people with better pipes and truly wonderful characters are not too hard to find. We all need to ensure that VOs read your piece and find out “Who they are” as it is that unique quality they bring to every job.
I am an INTP (as measured by the Myers Briggs Type indicator). Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving only 15% of people fall into this category. The INTROVERTED part meant that I had to learn how to work a room and be Mister Windswept and Interesting; for me it’s tough…Really tough! I like being a nobody whereas my job requires that I rise above it and try to be a sort of somebody, I sort of manage.
The weekend before the great NYC VO mixer I gave in to the “be the real me”. The money I would’ve spent on schmoozing was spent travelling to Nepal to fly an aeroplane around Mount Everest. Did I miss not attending the NYC function? Not for one second.
Have a wonderful Christmas and the 2013 you dream about!
Happy Holidays Phillip Banks – we missed YOU! AND you manage well – you can hold a room – I’ve seen it in action. Paul – it still amazes me that when I speak people are actually listening and taking in the information. I do tend to want to interject immediately (or else I may forget my train of thought) but must learn and practice holding my tongue (slippery as it may be, rather than biting it) and waiting my turn.
…ah, a kindred spirit. So many of my friends find it amazing that I’ve always been able to enjoy solitude (it’s no big secret, it developed as a neccessity from being one of the “unpopular” kids all through school). But even in my media days, I was able to fit in with the TV crowd in a subversive way: I was a puppeteer on a kiddie show. When I finally got the nerve to get involved with community theatre and doing on-camera work, I seldom had trouble matching the luminosity of others around me….but left to being “just me”, I can still come across as dull until there’s a script to bring to life, and me along with it.
It’s the “me” I discovered I’m happy with. But I do freely admit it has remained the one biggest obstacle in getting out and letting new people know that as potential new clients, they have access to all that hidden energy.
By the way, I enjoyed meeting you at that Faffcon, and thought you were the perfect balance of intro/extrovert. You’re evidently doing something right.
rg
Paul, Your blog and the comments that follow are right on target. I, too have to push myself to work a room, cold call and meet people I don’t know. Once the ice is broken, I’m fine. It’s nice to know that many voice over people are just like me.
Being invisible does work at times. I learned that in my last career…keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open and you’ll be surprised at what you will learn.
As usual Paul, you have found another meaningful topic to blog about. I consider myself more of an extroverted introvert. I cherish meeting new people from all walks of life, and have a passion for doing so through travel. One of my favorite quotes from my mother is “An open mind will open more doors to opportunity than any tool in your bag”. I consider myself fortunate to have been exposed to world travel at an early age.
To me, there’s something special about the study of other cultures, and what they have to offer us. If nothing more than to remove us from our ethnocentric shells. You mention borders. Borders are often thought only to be geograhic in nature, and while they do serve a valid purpose, in many ways they can and do stifle creativity and growth. (Rambling now, sorry)
I also cherish my alone time in the studio as much as a lively discussion with friends old and new. The fact that I can enjoy a real time discussion with someone I’ve never had the privilege of shaking hands with, is met with great enthusiasm. Thank you Paul for sharing your thoughts, knowledge, and blogging technique. I hope it rubs off, as I have had blog for some time now, and have been inspired by you.
All my best to, the VO Community, and all of the familiar faces this Holiday Season.
Thank you Paul for a wonderful glimpse into your story (and your psyche)!
I’d like to add my “I can identify” to the mix. I’ve often described myself as a “closet introvert”; I may at times present as an extrovert, but am really an introvert.
I too enjoyed the relative anonymity of the radio booth. I could use a pseudonym and be anyone I wanted to and no one knew it was me! I enjoyed stage acting for much the same play acting reasons. Working as a professional voice actor has brought a lot of the same satisfaction as my regular speaking voice has a natural southern drawl that I am able to lose completely when I’m working, so people unfamiliar with my work rarely guess that voice is me!
However, as an INTJ (like 2% of the population)I’ve had difficulty with learning how to ‘schmooze’ and make small-talk in the business realm. I often find social customs awkward and am only recently learning to more readily be pro-active in reaching out to others in my circle of colleagues and friends. I’m learning the value of personal ‘marketing’, all of which seems so foreign to me.
I do find though that once I make myself leave my little padded room, make that phone call, go play with others, or make use of a learning opportunity, that I enjoy myself! It’s just making sure I make an appointment to remind myself to do these things. Otherwise I get lost inside my own little world and am quite content to be there.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey, having met you and spoken with you on a few occasions, I am encouraged. Thank you again.
Merry Christmas to you and your family and a very prosperous 2013!
Once again, Paul, you make a great point here in your eloquent way. As I was reading through I kept wondering how or if you were going to recognize those who fill in that “middle ground.” You said it with “reluctant extrovert.” Actually, I believe there are a great many talent out there that fall into that description. I believe this fact about both of us was one reason we met.
If you recall, we first met in NYC at the 2010 mixer. I was at the bar (still sober) with 4-5 other people but was turned away from them when you came up on the far side of the bar (where no one was sitting) you were also sober, and introduced yourself. I knew then, as you, we were both of that same type… “reluctroverts.” Am I right? We proceeded to have a great conversation.
I’ve been a stubborn, lone wolf kind of guy my whole life. And proud of it. Yes, it’s held me back at times but my caution has also spared me from a few things.
I guess, if we remain thoughtful, without pondering, cautious without being gutless, and social without being clumsy or obnoxious… we’re doing just fine!
Good post Paul, and may 2013 bring you many new open doors of opportunity. Cheers