For the past few weeks I have conducted a secret experiment. You probably haven’t noticed a thing and that was exactly my point.
Let me explain.
One fine day I was wondering what would happen if I’d stop publishing my blog and reduce my presence on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn to a minimum.
After 21 days I got my answer:
Nothing.
That’s right: nothing happened.
No one emailed me to ask how I was doing. No one wanted to know why I hadn’t posted a new article in a while. Not a single Facebook friend checked in to find out how things were going (unless you count the barrage of birthday wishes).
What a relief!
If only I had done this experiment earlier. It would have saved me from the self-imposed pressure of having to publish something at regular intervals.
It could have stopped me from taking myself too seriously. And more importantly, I would have discovered how much time I had on my hands to do the things that matter most.
You see, as you and I go about our busy business, it’s so easy to get caught up in our work and forget to take care of the goose with the golden eggs.
I know the economy is in terrible shape. I know money is tight. But regardless of how hard we’re trying to stay afloat, there’s no excuse for putting ourselves last on the list. It’s the golden rule:
Love others like you love yourself
We personify our product. We embody our service. If we don’t take care of ourselves, our product suffers. That’s why all of us could benefit from a healthy dose of egotism in several areas of our life. To name a few:
1. PHYSICAL
That the United States has become a sedentary society should be no news to you. Friends visiting from Holland were shocked by the number of obese people they encountered while traveling. They said to me:
“We knew it was bad, but we had no idea it was this bad.”
In a study of over 17,000 Canadians, it was found that individuals who led a sedentary lifestyle were over 50% more likely to die from all causes, than their non-sedentary counterparts. This risk was not dependent upon age, smoking, or even physical activity levels.
I know I’ve become a desk jockey and I have gained a considerable amount of weight in the last few years. What’s even worse, I’ve come up with these stupid excuses to explain why I am in such bad shape:
“I’m not getting any younger so it’s only natural to put on a couple of extra pounds.”
“I need my computer to work. I can’t be moving and typing at the same time.”
“At the end of a long day I deserve a sweet treat or an ice-cold beer.”
Of course I know better. Ultimately, I am the boss of my own lifestyle. I determine how much or how little I move and eat. However, there’s a big difference between knowing what’s going on, and doing something about it.
That’s why I decided to be egotistical and bring my body back into shape.
2. INTELLECTUAL
Earlier on, I wrote about how bored I was by people recycling the same old topics in our field. It’s like still water but without any depth. Give it a few more weeks and it will start to reek and rot.
That’s why I have used the past month to catch up on my reading. I purposely steered away from anything having to do with my line of work. I am a firm believer in the stimulating effects of cross-pollination.
My second egotistical intellectual self-endulgement is music. Music is nourishment for the mind as well as food for the soul. I cannot live without it, and that’s why I started to spend more time improvising at the piano.
3. RELATIONSHIPS
As I mentioned before, dear friends from The Netherlands whom I had not seen in ten years, came over for a prolonged visit. I’m telling you: Skype, Facebook or any other type of social technology is a poor substitute for seeing people in person.
Don’t get me wrong: I am grateful for modern means of communication, but using them is a bit like watching the Food Network. We observe people preparing delicious dishes, but we’re missing essential ingredients. We can’t smell or taste what’s on the menu.
I firmly believe that the quality of our life is greatly determined by the quality of our relationships. Taking the time to strengthen those relationships is vital and invigorating. Besides, I got to speak Dutch for days, and the world is a different place when you’re speaking another language.
4. CREATIVITY
Taking time off allowed me to work on a book. As a professional narrator, I get paid to read other people’s work. In a way, that’s re-creation.
At the same time, I have a strong inner urge to create my own material. I won’t tell you what I’ve been working on, but once again it was born out of healthy egotism. Writing is a way for me to release what’s been brewing inside.
END THE EXPERIMENT
My 21-day silence has been remarkably beneficial, but does this mean that I will continue my experiment?
Hold your horses. I’m not a hermit.
My blog is read by thousands of people per month and the number is steadily growing.
Just as a composer should never stop composing while there’s still music inside of him, I will keep on writing. Even if these words end up being nothing but notes to an egotistical bastard.
Ultimately, it’s the quality of the music that matters.
Not the applause.
photo credit: Skyler Simpson
Paul,
I’m glad to hear you’ve had such a positive experience cutting back and indulging in other of life’s important pleasures!
I recently had the same revelation about the amount of time I was spending just trying to keep up with every single group, message, and social media site, and I discovered the same thing when I stopped putting all that pressure on myself…everything was OKAY!
What have you been reading?
I’m always on the look out for a good book.
Currently enjoying American Gods by Neil Gaiman.
Have a lovely weekend!
Lauren
Hi Lauren, I’m currently reading “His Way,” Kitty Kelley’s biography of Frank Sinatra. It has been on my list forever and I finally have the time to enjoy it.
Excellent as always. I’ve tried the same for shorter periods and have concluded the same: it feels like you’re contributions are irrelevant. But they aren’t. You think people aren’t “listening”.
Trust me- they are. ;o)
Always love your articles, Paul. Continued success!
If -through my writings- I have helped or inspired one person in some small way, it is worth it. Thanks for your warm words of encouragement, Tony!
…thanks again, Paul for another thought-provoking article. There has to be a confidence and healthy self-love to be able to spread that confidence into your work AND relationships. I wouldn’t go so far as to call you the ‘B’ word, but I get your meaning loud and clear!…
The B-word was a bit inglorious, I admit. Strong words are like a hot chilly pepper. They can spice up a headline and get people’s attention. With so much relevant and irrelevant info floating around, I have to use every trick in the book to draw people in.
Paul,
Obviously, we’re too busy with our own stuff to notice that that the surface has become calmer…not much, but some…I’m glad you’re back!
Take a listen to this:
http://philsvoiceovers.com/mp3/Time.mp3
I think it says it all…lives of quiet desperation…remember?
Best,
Phil
I loved your sound bite, Phil. In the passing of time, everything is transient. Part of what makes a flower beautiful is it’s temporary fragility. Most of us are so caught up in what will come next, that we forget to be in the moment and realize that the rest is but an illusion.
I swear I would have noticed, but I think I found links to old posts that I hadn’t seen yet, but I didn’t realize that they were old, so I thought you were around. And did I forget to send you a birthday note? Wait, you probably didn’t realize that. Darn it.
It’s okay to forget my birthday. We’ll catch up at Faffcon and I love chocolate… Seriously, you’re right: even though I didn’t publish a new article for three weeks, there are still lots of goodies to explore.
In this fast-paced world with it’s focus on the latest and greatest, it is easy to overlook older contributions that are still relevant today.
See you in Harrisburg, Connie!
The hiatus from generating material and notation of life continuing on … wise to note. But… every wake or funeral has people effusive about those lost. Announce you STOP your blog, and people will respond.
In radio, more than one time, I had millions of listeners at any given moment. Leaving, it was proven that the numbe rof people shifted lower. BUT.. when I left… there were no bags of cards and letters. Life went on.
Many of my friends bored of seeing me post that instead of lamenting loudly when a friend passed early, we needed tell them they mattered when they themselves could tell us what Phil Banks comments so much, “That’s all Bollocks!”” and then they laugh. Happy. Telling them then really does matter.
A friend, an artist, blogs. His competition in his area blogs. HE laughs about it. “I put good stuff in MY blog!” he says. They fill theirs with (a word that summarizes as worthless) in theirs because they think they’re (a word that summarizes as ill thought of by creators of universes) important to people every (a word that summarizes as an impressive amount, quality) day!”. And he’s right. His blog, with “stuff” that matters, gets more hits than the manic competitors who feel they “must”, or they’ll disappoint.
I’ll mention radio again,. DJ talk… great advice is “If you don’t have anything to say, be quiet! Play the music. Even just say, “tomorrow morning, wake up with (name), music, and news” and that’s better than (like writing this response) boring everyone to death to the point that they throw the radio out the window… just because you think you have to talk”. The result, audience perceives quality, pithy characteristic, meat instead of dry fluff, more of what they WANT there instead of ego airs.
A thing about Art, that. Many of your blogs seems to discuss that you’re finding life itself to be more an artistic process than formula. Good move, I think.
Enjoy! frank baum
Hi Frank, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your response. It reminded me of the notion that we should care more about the music we’re making, than about the applause.
Some composers that were celebrated in their time, have been long forgotten. Others that were ignored have become part of the classic repertoire.
Ultimately, all of us have to find meaning in what we’re doing, knowing that -at some point- it will all end and life will go on.
Frank,
Any chance you once worked at WITY in Danville, IL.?
Out of sight, but not entirely out of mind… our contact so far has only been virtual, through the online connection. I hope one day soon to meet with you, as our international connections are important to a fuller understanding of the world we live in. True story: just last night I was explaining to 5 year old William that if we selected Dutch as the language on his PlayStation game (it was one of the options) I wouldn’t be able to understand, but my friend Paul would probably be able to help us out.
This has zero connection with our shared business interests, but for me is an important lesson to my son that we are world citizens, in which despite our individual differences we have much to learn, and hence benefit, from one another. Welcome back!
Well done Paul! You’re right. Sometimes we need to give it a rest. That’s why I’m happy that I have started going to some “meet up” gatherings. It gives me a chance to meet people not in the industry, and talk face-to-face about everything and anything. My world gets bigger every day. Cheers!
🙂
Your gatherings are an excellent idea. A diverse group of people is like a beautiful bouquet. We can learn so much from industry insiders, but just as much from those, outside our line of work.
My Dutch friend is a musician and musicologist, and later in life he took up Law, simply because it fascinated him. Now he is combining the two disciplines and is delving into the issue of intellectual property.
Thank you, Andy! Your comment is music to my ears. When William turns 11, I hope
http://www.cisv.org/ is still around.
This non-profit organizes international summer villages where kids meet and play with other kids from around the world. I was privileged to be part of one of those villages and it was an experience that has shaped my life.
I too hope that we shall meet one day. For now, this virtual connection will have to do. Thanks for welcoming me back!
Paul, I did notice you were weren’t around but just figured you were in jail 😉
Welcome back – I always enjoy your blog.
David, I have to disappoint you. I was not in jail, but tied up with other things. I did use my cell phone a number of times 🙂
I’m glad you took the time off. I do the same in bits and bites, small pauses of 2 or 3 days and more when the business allows it. During that time I read more, listen to music more, spend more time with the wife, and work on personal projects more. I know that my “long distance” Internet friends aren’t going to worry. (I try to choose them well.) They know I’m a working individual and I have a life. When I’m back in touch, it’s like I’ve never been gone… plus, I have more discoveries and news to share with them.
I’m looking forward to the book announcement.
Thanks for your insights.
The book announcement will have to wait a while. I hope to make the formal announcement at Faffcon.
What I did not mention in my article is the fact that I kept the lines to my clients and agents open. But they too realize that I have a life and that it can’t be all about work and no play.
Hi Paul,
Always enjoy reading your articles, this one certainly hit close to home as I have slipped a little in the exercise department but that will be changing soon enough thanks to your reinforcement of priorities in life. I’ll pay closer attention to the frequency of your articles in the future but I did catch you on your birthday. Hope it was a good one! See you soon down at Faffcon..
Hi Patrick, your birthday wishes were very much appreciated!
This blog post wasn’t a cry for attention but an ode to the relativity of readership in a busy world. I cannot keep track of each and everyone blogging about the business either.
There is an easy way to get an update every time I publish a new article: sign up for an RSS feed:
https://www.nethervoice.com/nethervoice/about/subscribe/
I LOVE IT!
Oh, Paul… on the contrary, Bubba! We all missed you!
I just figured you were busy working… ya’ know at VO… or on vacation. Only to find out we were just victims of some grand experiment of yours. (Hee, hee… just kidding!) At any rate, your absence only built anticipation. We know you wouldn’t give up on us. You’re a natural born writer if I’ve ever seen one. It’s an obsession with you. I’m excited about your book and know that it will be a GREAT read. Doing an audio version?
You’re about the most thoughtful VO guy I’ve ever met! I always expect something profound from you. If these writings of yours are simply expressions of your ego… then BRING IT ON!
Once again I am very flattered by your response, Rick. My “experiment” is probably the laziest one in history, and I had to contain myself not to break the rules. It was as freeing of an experience as it was humbling.
As long as I still have some music inside of me, I’ll keep on composing. If anything, I’ll do it for the sake of my own sanity.
Hi Paul!
As you said, the number of people who read your blog is growing… And I just started to read your blog some days ago… While you had your 21-day break, what I didn’t know. So, reading your articles and “drinking” from your wisdom it was (and it is!) sooo much fun, that I could never imagine you were “off”.
Great blog and wonderful posts. I’ll be back for more 🙂
Cheers!
Linda.
Dear Linda,
Wie geht’s? Como vai? It’s fantastic to know that my blog has reached Brazil on the banks of the Danube! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my articles during my absence.
I noticed that you left an “Out of the office” note on your website and that’s a smart idea. Enjoy your well-deserved time off and come back safely!
Até a próxima.
I’ll say this my friend, you have a knack for coming up with eye catching titles… you crack me up!
I think you’ve shared some good advice here for us all to consider.
Nice to see you’re a musician too. I’m a guitarist. We’ll have to play together some time.
Thanks for always sharing such great insight!
Paul
Hey Paul, as a former journalist I know that catchy headlines certainly help to draw people in. Any day I manage to crack people up (including myself), is a good day!
If you will excuse me, I have to get back on the treadmill…
I thought you were just on holiday Paul… you were promising to take a break if you remember . . . and I didn’t want to disturb your tranquil time out … But I did miss your wit and humour. Honest.
Hello Helen,
You’re absolutely right: I did follow my own advice. I’ve had too many teachers who did not walk their talk and they never impressed me. Thanks for heeding my “Do Not Disturb” time. Now I will tend to my wit and humour. Who knows what my strange and silly mind will come up with next? I have absolutely no clue!
I enjoy your blog, Paul. I removed myself from VU back in May or June and I am SO glad I did. I restrict myself to just LinkedIn, two blogs (yours and and one for audiobook narrators) and my personal pals on FB. I read John Florian’s newsletter, too. But I find that all the chatter out there distracts me from my work and creates anxiety as well. I’ve been blessed with a beautiful family and a thriving business. Sometimes it really is best to clear the channels and just enjoy the little bit of silence that we can.
um abraco para voce….
Hello Roxanne, I am so honored that my blog is on your “to do list”! John’s doing a great job finding articles in the VO-blogosphere that are worth republishing.
Most successful people have one thing in common: they are very clear about their priorities. It’s too easy to indulge in distractions that lure us away from what really matters.
I was relieved to find out that life goes on without social media. On the other hand, I am grateful for tools that allow me to connect with wonderful people such as yourself.
Oh Paul,
I am so glad you are back! It’s no secret that I am a huge fan of yours, and I am always recommending your blog to my VO Peeps networking group. You bring such realism and perspective into this game and I always get so much out of your writing! You make me think and have truly touched my life – and what a beautiful thing that is! Thank you for taking care of yourself so that you could come back 🙂 – for so generously sharing yourself, and for inspiring us! It was worth the wait my friend!
Thank you so much, Anne. My challenge is to take the things I’ve been practicing over the past few weeks, and make them more of a part of my regular routine. In our unpredictable profession, projects come and go, and it’s not always easy to take care of ourselves as much as we should. Thankfully, the body has a built-in warning system. It’s up to us to recognize the signs and listen to them.
Paul,
What a refreshingly honest article. If this were Facebook, I’d give you a big “thumbs up.” But, frankly I don’t think anyone would notice or even care if I did. Most of my so-called “Friends” seem slightly self-absorbed and far more concerned with promoting (and I do mean “promoting”) their personal and professional agendas.
We appear numb to the other side of technology’s double blade; iPads, Fakebook, tweets, texting — most would rather text than have to actually talk to someone in person or even, heaven forbid, be forced to pick up the phone, etc. I believe we are slowly losing an ever-growing degree of our humanity. The quality of our collective spirits’ music is being drowned out by all this technological “noise” that’s thrust upon us daily…much of which is constantly playing, front-and-center, to our egos.
Paul, you “UNSELFISH ‘bastard'”, thank you for reminding us all, with your valuable lessons achieved through this experiment, what truly is important.
: )
Jeff
You’re very welcome Jeff. I tend to agree with you: technology cannot replace a hug or an arm around a shoulder. These tools and gadgets allow us to describe reality and in doing so, they remove us from the actual experience.
As a result, we respond to observed reality and not to reality itself. This process actually creates distance instead of bringing us closer.
Hi Paul,
It is really true it is important to take care of ourself. Your writings and I am only beiginning I have read a few others are very helpful. I am beginning in my first year of my voice business and it is a struggle. Right now I am attempting to learn The Pro Tools Vocal Studio. The Youtube tutorials focus more on music not voice production. Are you familar with Pro Tools Vocal Studio and what is the best tutorial for voice I have searched a lot? Wishing you great days ahead.
Many thanks,
Earl Thomas
Hello Earl, thanks for finding my blog. I use Sony’s Sound Forge software to record and edit my voice-overs.
Catherine Marshall wrote a ProTools tutorial for beginners:
http://www.voiceemporium.com/archives/03/protools-for-beginners1/
and Editing in ProTools:
http://www.voiceemporium.com/archives/09/editing-in-protools/
Both tutorials are on Taji’s Voice Emporium, an excellent blog for people in our business.
Paul,
I have noticed in my own life that it takes me about 45 days to notice
“Something or someone is missing”. Unless of course, it’s something mission critical like eating or breathing.
I do appreciate you pointing out that FB, Twit, etc are not really that relevant/important after all.
BTW Posting the headline of your blog on Linkedin and then not having the content there….fail.
All the best to you.
dc
Hello DC,
Thanks for the feedback. I’ve posted a link to the article on several LinkedIn Groups. Where did you see the title without the link?
Sometimes, the Opera browser I’m using doesn’t fully cooperate with LinkedIn and that’s when I switch to Google Chrome.
Paul,
Another wonderful meditation. Don’t put yourself down by calling this self-indulgent or egotistical; in fact, the point you’re making is kind of the opposite. It’s more self-indulgent sometimes to get caught up on the internet and neglect higher priorities.
We all know that keeping up an Internet presence is only ONE of things we need to do for our businesses — personal relationships with clients (never mind family and friends) are even more important. Like you say, they’re the “goose with the golden eggs.” It’s so interesting that after going too far in the other direction (neglecting my social media), I just blogged about one way it really helped me, via a Linkedin connection!
I guess the conclusion is that, as with everything else, it’s a balance. Thanks for being a part of this community!
Hello Heather, hope you’re having a heavenly summer. I admit that I am prone to picking provocative titles for my blog posts. A title like: “How I am practicing preventative health care” doesn’t have the same ring to it, but it might reflect the content a bit better.
I’ll hop over to your site and add your blog to my blog roll. People like you make being a part of this community wonderfully worthwhile!