THE BEGINNING OF THE END

Let’s start with this…

Every day I realize that I belong to the lucky few who lead a reasonably normal life after suffering a massive stroke. I can’t explain how or why I got so lucky, and neither can my doctors. All I can do is make the most of my days, gratefully sharing what I have to give, which is one of the reasons I am writing this series of blog posts.

As a reminder: I am only speaking from MY personal, highly subjective experience.

Anyway, just as many parts of my body became weaker after my stroke, my voice became weaker as well. Remember: when I woke up after my life-saving operation, I wasn’t able to speak or form a cogent thought. In many ways I was like a baby, totally dependent on the people around me, unable to walk or talk.

You may have heard of the concept of neuroplasticity which, according to the source of all wisdom, Wikipedia, is “the ability of neural networks in the brain to change through growth and reorganization.” Basically, the brain is able to rewire itself to some extent.

LOSING MY MIND

I’ve been told that, once they are lost, brain cells don’t grow back. But it is quite possible for the brain cells that are left, to take over the function of the cells that are gone. I don’t say that as a neuroscientist which I’m not, but I speak purely from experience.

It’s because I have no other explanation for my recovery, other than my stubborn determination and the help of people around me. After many months of speech therapy, I was able to talk again, but unfortunately there was some permanent damage to the instrument, my voice box.

I worked closely with an ENT who specialises in assisting vocal performers such as actors and singers. Just as the left side of my body would be permanently weakened (in spite of continued exercise), my vocal folds had lost part of their elasticity, strength, and stamina.

Once I started talking, I would run out of gas pretty quickly, resulting in me sounding hoarse, as if I’d been shouting at the top of my lungs. As you can imagine, this was rather inconvenient for someone whose bread and butter was long-form narration.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

Since there is no cure, I could only cope by taking on short voice over projects. Some of my clients and agents who knew I had had a stroke, simply moved on to other talent, and I can’t blame them.

I’m not going to lie. My physical inability to be as good as I used to be, was frustrating and took some of the joy out of the work I was doing. I had to pass on projects I would have embraced in the past, and who wants to be known as the man who says “no”? It’s bad for business.

Slowly but surely I had to accept that this was the beginning of the end of my career as a professional speaker. But this was by no means the only reason I hung up my hat.

I’ll tell you all about the other reasons in the next blog posts.