What’s your favorite time of day, and why?
Do you like to sleep in, and have breakfast in bed? Are you a night owl? Or are you like me, an early riser?
I love getting up in darkness, when the world is still asleep and all is quiet. It’s a magical moment I can only share with myself.
There’s nothing I have to do. There’s no one to take care of. All that is required is to be in the moment and enjoy its stillness.
The only thing that can possibly make it better is the sound of a purring cat on my lap.
What I unknowingly have discovered is the forgotten art of doing nothing. A guiltless pleasure that has to be experienced to be appreciated.
MINDLESS MEDITATION
Could this moment of bliss be what people strive for when they do their mindful meditation, you wonder? Well, they may call it mindful, but in my case it’s completely mindless.
Early in the morning I do nothing and I think of nothing.
I try to be out of my mind.
Oddly enough, this emptying of the mind and freeing of the body is the most fulfilling time of the day.
It’s where my energy and inspiration comes from. Even the words I’m writing down now, are flowing from that early morning silence.
It’s the only time of day without distractions and obligations. There are no musts or have-to’s.
What I’m describing to you seems to be no big deal. Sit, breathe, and be quiet. Yet, for many, it’s one of the most challenging things to do, because it’s about not doing anything at all, and being okay with that.
RUNNING THE RAT RACE
We’ve been programmed to always run around like crazy getting things done. Taking a break is for lazy people. Even when we sit down, we feel the urge to check our screens -big or small- to see what we might have missed.
Once we get going, it’s hard to put the world on pause. But doing nothing can be the most productive moment of the day.
That’s why I get up early, and savor the silence. It’s my favorite time.
At that time I become a human being. Not a human doing.
When I wrote about my routine earlier, some people said:
“I don’t know how you do it. Where do you find the time? I feel guilty doing nothing.”
SOME ANSWERS
To tackle the last thing first, the only thing you are guilty of when you “meditate” is self care. The only thing you may accuse yourself of is the prevention of burn-out.
Where do you find the time?
By prioritizing the things that are essential for your well-being, and the well-being of those around you. If YOU feel better, your relationships will be better. If your relationships are better, your life will be better.
We waste so much time on things that don’t matter like endlessly scrolling our Instagram and Facebook feeds. We watch television shows that add nothing to our life but distraction. If it’s okay to engage in these mind-numbing activities, it should be okay to sit still for twenty minutes and do nothing, don’t you think?
And finally, how do you do it?
By setting clear boundaries. If you don’t claim your time, someone else will. So, assert yourself. Don’t expect others to understand you. They just need to respect you.
Secondly, create an environment that allows you to be comfortable and quiet. Find a spot you can return to every day. If you don’t create the right conditions, your life will fill up with clutter in your mind and in your home.
YOU WILL BE TESTED
One word of warning. The moment you set your boundaries, they will be tested by those around you. Just as you are establishing a new habit, your environment has to do that as well. Give them time. Give yourself time. It’s an investment well worth making.
Best of all, you don’t need to buy expensive exercise equipment, sign up for wellness programs, or pay for meditation apps you’ll never use.
All you have to do is shut up and sit still for a while, being very busy doing absolutely nothing.
Part of the problem with effective meditation is that too many people misunderstand what it really is. Our minds generate incredible amounts of random thoughts/noise every moment. We are not helped by all the stimuli that surround us, from radios, television, alert beeps from our phones, or just the normal human activity around us. I have been taught, the goal of meditation is not to force our minds to be quiet. That won’t work. The harder you try to force your mind to be still, the harder it will fight back. St. Augustine reportedly said, “The mind orders the body and it obeys. The mind orders itself and it resists) Just sitting quietly for minutes at a time is extraordinarily difficult as random thoughts try to come bursting in like unwelcome guests pounding on your door late at night. What you are describing is the most basic form of meditation where thoughts run their course without resistance and move on. As a recovering stroke victim I’m sure you’re aware of the benefits this calming ritual can have on blood pressure. You are absolutely correct that fancy meditation apps or expensive courses are not required to gain great benefits. For those who wish to explore them, there are wonderful courses and tools available to go more in depth, but just simply stopping and unplugging ourselves from the intense physical and mental noise of daily life is anything but simple for far too many of us.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Mike! The point is that all of us will have to find something that works in our situation. It’s never a one-size-fits-all thing. It’s unrealistic to think that we’ll have no thoughts (unless we’re thoughtless people ;-). Skies will be cloudy, but we can learn to focus on the space between the clouds, just as we can learn to focus on the space between our thoughts. It will take some un-conditioning and patience, but the rewards are tremendous!
Paul:
Great blog post (as usual). Daydreaming was and still is one of my favorite things to do. It doesn’t matter the time of day. What triggers my daydreaming is usually a view – whether it’s the setting sun from my deck, the morning stillness of snow.
I, like you, awake when it’s still dark – before the birds, the newspaper delivery person, the traffic. I pour my coffee, sit and look out a window – it could be the back door, the front bay window, whatever. No decisions need to be made. I always feel like I’m on vacation. I give myself permission to just sit, hopefully uninterrupted, and maybe listen to music or just the quiet around me. Slow down – just breathe – enjoy.
I’ve realized that giving myself permission to daydream has become one of the luxuries and necessities I treasure and appreciate. And the cost? There isn’t one – it’s a “value-added” to my life.
A kindred daydreamer, how wonderful! We should start a sleeper society for the promotion of daydreaming! PS I even daydream at night.
I don’t (like to) narrate a lot of audiobooks. But I do have a favorite audiobook client whose books I’ll continue to narrate, because he’s just got great stuff…and he does talk a lot about self-improvement and self-care. His name is Thibaut Meurisse. One of the things I’ll never forget him saying, and me narrating, is “‘No’ is your favorite ‘yes.'” So true! Saying ‘no’ to others and distractions is saying ‘yes’ to yourself. In fact Warren Buffett preaches that as well. (““The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”) My time in the morning is so precious, and I LOVE that silence as well…no one else is awake. it’s just me roaming the halls, quiet, breathless, stealthily. Then it’s hot tube time, and I can just lay and relax and recharge. Every morning…that’s my routine, nearly without fail, and it’s my place of Shangri-la. I have a morning devotional and prayer time when I’m done being silent. All of that matters to me highly each and every morning, and I don’t think I’d be who I am today without it. It truly is an art!
A hot tub… I could get used to that! My guilty pleasure is a very hot shower followed by a strong cup of decaf.
Greetings from the Heartland Paul, thanks for this blog on just being still in mind and body. I myself get up early enough, like you I enjoy the darkness of the new day starting. Even while writing this response to you my mind is still, it serves as a way of meditating for me because I am focusing on the stillness, it truly fuels my passion for being of service as I prepare to get ready to prep, cook, and respond to my 40 meals on wheels clients. I am fortunate to have a job such as this, I continue to be in this stillness as I walk to work,5 minutes at most and I sm in my office ready for what may come my way,so thank you for bringing this home,be still and just know,is a powerful concept for me..Enjoy your Monday.
Thanks to you, my Monday started off very well indeed, Dave! Your meals on wheels customers are lucky to have you!